The Undertow
Cold October sky
Cold as you and I
Hiding in the shadows
Shooting poison arrows
Low October sky
Low as you and I
Colored leaves are burning
And the tide is turning
And we are
Caught in the undertow
And we can’t let go
Of the undertow
Sucked right in
And torn asunder
Dragged right down
We’re going under
Blue October sky
Blue as you and I
Black clouds coming closer
We are all but over
Frail October sky
Failing as we try
Putting it behind us
But the waters always find us
And we are
Caught in the undertow…
We fall, fall, fall to the ground
We fall, fall, fall to the bottom of the sea
Fall, fall – making no sound
We fall, fall endlessly
This current will take us
Where we haven’t gone before
The waters will break us
And wash us to the shore
Grief is a liquid
Learn to swim or you will drown
No rest for the wicked
It’s a one way ticket
We go down
We fall, fall, fall to the ground
We fall, fall, fall to the bottom of the sea
Fall, fall – making no sound
We fall, fall endlessly
Watershed Moment
So long descending
So long, peace of mind
So long – no ending in sight
So long the journey
Who knows what we’ll find
So long to worry every night
You can long for before and an after
You can long for a full belly laughter
You can long for an ark or a raft when the flood comes in
But you’re still goin’ down
You’re still gonna drown
So long the waiting
So slow this endless grind
So long debating what’s right
So long the journey
So long we stumble blind
So long to burn without light
And all those tears you had to hold back for so long
All those fears
Hours, days and years of wondering “Where did we go wrong”
Finally we’re here
And a watershed moment appears
A watershed moment appears
With everything to lose
How do you choose?
You can’t afford to fall
When you’re in for the long haul
Over My Dead Body
There’s a current in the water
There’s a current in my blood
There’s a dark side to my nature
Dark as Mississippi mud
Whereas going with the flow
Was always good enough for some
Well, I know just where I’ll go
And I’m as stubborn as they come
So tell me what to do
So I can be like you
And that’s all right with me
Over my dead body
You can wade through the muddy waters
Search and weep and crawl
Y’all better tell your team
Never look downstream, downstream
Look above the waterfall
You say the world is full of dangers
Never trust another soul
The world is full of strangers
Who may want the things we stole
You tell me how to float
And how to smile before you bite
You tell me how to vote
Well, I go left and I’m still right
So tell me what to do
So I can be like you
And that’s all right with me
Over my dead body
You can wade…
And come the day I’m dyin’
I will not change my mind
I will not be like you just ’cause it’s easy
I’ll float the other way
And have my final say
So look upstream if you wanna see me
You can wade…
Imminent Goodbye
Make believe I love you
And I’ll convince myself I do
Slowly let your mouth meet mine
And breathe me in like wine
Until the moment’s is through
Act like this is always
Like an end is not in sight
Like we’re coming back for more
Not closing one more door
And turning out the light
And every time I see you
I feel an imminent goodbye
A finality implied
Whenever we decide
To give it one more try
And every time I leave you
I feel like this could be the end
Every marker spells regret
But it isn’t over yet
As long as I pretend
So move a little closer
And put your strong hand on my back
Let us dance while there is time
While you’re willing and while I’m
Ignoring every crack
We are at an impasse
There is nothing to be done
While we’re dancing, while we’re here
Brush your lips against my ear
And tell me I’m the one
This is not what we wanted
But it’s all that we got
Just a house we have haunted
Not a home, not a lot
And every time I see you
I feel an imminent goodbye
A finality implied
Whenever we decide
To give it one more try
And every time I leave you
I feel like this could be the end
Every marker spells regret, but it isn’t over yet
So close your eyes and let’s pretend
Grace
You can break
You can fall
You can lose the light of it all
But then it’s your turn to face
There is grace
You can cry
You can swear
You can mourn what’s no longer there
And what you cannot replace
But there is grace
Even when you can’t find your way
Even when you can’t trust your heart
Even when the night has no day
Even when the end has no start
And hope has no trace
There is grace
But if you listen there’s the faintest music
If you linger there’s a helping hand
Think you can’t teach a beaten dog a new trick?
But when you’re done with lying
Someone will be there trying to help you stand
It is always the case
And there is grace
Deep within you there’s a streak of forgiveness
To heal the hurt you cannot bear
Let kindness and careful stitches
Repair your soul when pain and despair
Holds you in its darkest embrace:
There is grace
It never seizes to amaze:
There is grace
It is always the case:
There is grace
Let Me Rewind
Last night we dined
We may have wined a little much
But we were different to the touch
And then again
I may have whined
And you resigned yourself to sighs
Or were you planning your goodbyes
Even then
I fell behind
You undermined my every move
I guess I saw, but couldn’t prove
That it was so
And still I pined
I have a blind spot comes to you
Which is why I never knew
That you would go
Let me rewind
In hindsight everything is clear
The things that followed disappear
And you’re still here
Let me remind
Myself of all that went before
So I can miss you even more
Let me rewind
You were inclined
To just assign the blame to me
I see it differently
I wonder why
But never mind
If we were grinding to a halt
I think you’ll find we were at fault
Both you and I
Once we were aligned
And everything was beautiful
And every sentence musical
And nothing was too late
Two souls intertwined
Combined in blissed harmony
Now just a fading memory
Who knew that fate
Would have an expiration date
Love is designed
To bend the spine and break the heart
But I can’t bear to be (apart) a part
Of this, I’ll crack
So please be kind
Help my heart find its (beatin’) beaten track
Let me take you back
Will you take me back
Let me rewind
Turner
Thickly colored clouds and a blue sky half hidden
Smudges of boats, and waves of memories that rise unbidden
There’s a portrait of bridges in liquid bronze
And we are moved beyond reason, we are moved like pawns
Like reluctant soldiers in unnecessary war
Who know nothing can be like before
Time is like a train, it moves fast and unforgiving
Pushes on, there and gone, with no thought for the living
I carried you with me these many years
A pale refugee from my most fatal frontiers
A wound in my fabric that never would heal
A bruise I tried so to conceal
We shield our eyes, avert our gaze
As we recall our glory days
And the train thunders onwards in a roar of steam
In its wake lies one more ruptured dream
Faith is sometimes lost and privilege unraveled
And in the end, all you regret is the rails you never traveled
Fortunes and photographs with people missing in them
Letters and epitaphs that whisper ”Carpe diem”
And pictures cut in half by dull scissors of remembrance
Till at last they bear no resemblance
Don’t turn, don’t turn
Turn around, or turn it down and always yearn
Don’t turn, don’t turn
Hope springs eternal
And had I known what losses lay before me
I never would’ve left so easily
Steam and speed, a promise in passing
We fade away, not all things are lasting
The Great Western Railway runs from Sodom and Gomorrah
Till we’re stuck with only hope like Pandora
That the Great Western Railway will grind to a halt
They say ”Don’t look back or you will turn to salt”
Well, all I can say, is that I’m a slow learner
And everyone loves a (Turner) turner
(References to the painting ”RAIN, STEAM AND SPEED – THE GREAT WESTERN RAILWAY” by J.M.W. TURNER)
BODY OF WATER
I’m a body of water
Swirling down the drain
Lost my power
But not the pain
Would love to be closer
Would love to be sane
I’m a body of water
Swirling down the drain
So watch me try not to cry as I am silently defied
I am sliding, there’s no semblance of a foothold
I am gliding away from here, I slowly disappear
And I wonder did I always wear this blindfold
I’m a body of water
Trying not to drown
Slowly going under
I’m going down
Beyond measure
Too tightly wound
I’m a body of water
Scream without sound
I’m a body of water
You’re a wave goodbye
When the storm is over
Is there an (I) eye?
There is no answer
So don’t even try
I’m a body of water
And you know why
It’s Only Water
Loosening my grip
I can feel you slip away
Nothing I can say
And it’s all as it should be
Learning to let go
I can let it show today
Everything’s okay
Always knew that it would be
It’s only water
It’s only water
It’s just a wave
That takes you out to (sea) see the world
As mine gets smaller, you’ll stand taller and free
And somehow water will bring you back to me
Opening my hand
I know you can stand alone
You’ll forget to phone
You’ll forget to need me
This I’ll have to face
Letting you embrace your own
Leaving all you’ve known
And it’s all as it should be
It’s only water
It’s only water
It’s just a wave
That takes you out to (sea) see the world
As mine gets smaller, you’ll stand taller and free
And somehow water will bring you back to me
And one day water will bring you back to me
Chinese Water Torture
One drop drip dripping in the same place
One line etched deeper in the same face
Walk the tightrope as it frays
It’s a war I can’t win
Still it’s off to the trenches again
One day, one hour, one more minute
Don’t know it’s the long haul till you’re no longer in it
No upside to be found however you spin it ‘round
Only one way forward and it’s down
I can’t go on
I will go on
One lie, one truth, one disaster
Knee-deep in molasses, can’t go any faster
Breathe out, breathe in. There is no master plan
And it’s out of my hands
But I still have to carry
On and on and on and on and on
On and on and on and on and on
Nothing makes you long for closure
Like Chinese water torture
This is a path that no one chooses
Everyone wins if no one loses
Nothing to see, but there are bruises
On your soul, ‘neath your skin
We all lose here, no one’s winning
There’ll be no break at the 7th inning
Kicks you right back to the beginning
Where trust is a cardinal sin
Then it’s off to the trenches again
Anchors Aweigh
Anchors aweigh
One more lost day
Even the worst storms won’t last
Bullets and guns
Blood red setting suns
And nights full of ghosts of the past
I’ve forgotten why I became a pirate
Forgotten why X marks the spot
No treasure to hold, no guilt-ridden gold
The salt and the sea are all that I’ve got
Gone is the light
Here comes the night
Rage ye waves, blow ye winds, blow
Wash down the rum
Morning will come
The current decides where we’ll go
I’ve forgotten why I chose the water
It called me, I heeded its call
I gave it my soul
It swallowed me whole
I danced with the tide at the black cannon ball
Anchors away
It’s time to pay
For a lifetime of chasing a dream
Trade in your ship
For a ferryman’s tip
And follow him gently downstream
If Time Were an Ocean
If time were an ocean
I’d go swimming with you
If love were a motion
We’d go dancing through life
We’d dip and turn
And slowly burn
And always yearn for each other
If time were an ocean
If time were a kite then
I’d go flying with you
Through clouds we’d go ridin’
Slowly falling through space
Like shooting stars
Like speeding cars
Like jaguars we would hurry
If time were a treasure island
We’d explore and
Chase its diamonds, its horizons
Sail the ocean, fly a kite then
Hoist our sails and pet the whales and
Walk the plank until we sank
One hundred fathoms down
And drown in sweet emotion
If time were an ocean
If time were a tree then
I would climb it with you
As easy as breathin’
On a branch with a view
Just you and I
A bit of sky
And clouds up high paintin’ pictures
If time were a field of flowers
Full of hours
Moments, years and joy and tears and
Every second quick to beckon:
Move in closer. And if time were
Endless, boundless, sight- and soundless
Less and more and all
Now what a wondrous notion
If time were an ocean
If time were an ocean
I’d go swimming with you